Forgive and Forget

Charis got her first chance to forgive tonight--and I was the one who needed to be forgiven.  :(  I microwaved her refried black beans when she wanted "more," blew on them and tested the temperature.  But as she took a big bite, her eyes got big, she spit the beans out, and then her little lower lip puckered up.  I realized immediately she had burned her mouth, but it took her 15 seconds to start crying--and then she bawled!  Herb had to carry her out of the room to comfort her, and she cried and cried.  Of course, I felt horrible--as if I had betrayed her, which I had!  When she finally stopped crying, Herb brought her back in to the high chair where I told her again how sorry I was.  She sat there quietly, tears still in her eyes, testing out her tongue between her lips to see how it felt--

--and obviously not looking at me.  I was definitely not forgiven yet!

Then she shut her eyes tight, thus squeezing the tears from her eyes out onto her cheeks, and then she blinked her eyes several times because her lashes were laced with tears, too!

Finally she gazed at me through teary eyes.  She reminded me for all the world of Kara when she was about two, looking up at me through tear-filled eyes, saying, "Mama, look at my tears!"  Charis can't say all that yet, but she managed to do it without a word!  I still wasn't forgiven yet!

Still looking at me tearfully, she tested her tongue again to see how it felt, managing to look even more reproachful than before.  I still wasn't forgiven!  So I told her I was sorry again and asked her to forgive me, and I reached out to see if she would let me hold her.  What a tender little heart: she reached for me!  I couldn't see her face once I picked her up, but Herb did, and he said that she broke into a huge smile as she plastered herself against me!  I was forgiven!

After we established that Charis didn't want any more black beans (I think she may never eat them again!), I asked if she'd like to go outside.  "Wah!" she said, so we did.  But this time it wasn't Didi's hand she wanted to hold like she usually does--it was mine!  So I guess all is not only forgiven, but forgotten!